For three years I had needed to beg, schmooze and wheedle anyone and everyone that might have been able to give me any sort of lead or clue concerning Tori's death. I could actually show something resembling genuine emotion once in awhile when I needed to dig deeper inside of myself to at least pretend to be the grief-stricken old friend that I really actually was - and not just a charcoal-cored insane vengeance-filled bitch just looking for the right sort of match to set off the next conflagration of doom and hellfire.Pete lived to be useful ... so I decided it was time to find out what other skills other than chop-shop surgery he possessed, or other skills in places besides the bedroom. Since his uncle had been a serious local big-time gun dealer, maybe we could still enjoy a bit of one-stop shopping while we were here."Pete, while we're here, I was hoping for a bit of a tour of your uncle's private gun collection. We're ... that is I'm, just a bit under-armed for the sort of. I'm overweight, obese, a fatty. Hey, I was 200lbs on my 13th birthday. How's that strike you? Yeah, I know what you're thinking, damn look at that fat ass. Well, you'd be right. Who's going to want to pick a 14 year old fat ass boy as their fucking concubine?I pick up the plastic card that sealed my fate. Seriously, like I asked the fucking guidance counselor, what chance does a 14 year old 5'10" 225lb kid, with no friends and no parents have? None, nada, zip, zilch, zero. Any way you say it, it all adds up to "absolutely no fucking way."I pick up the sandwich I had paid hard earned money for and toss it in the trash. Why eat? I'm not going to live long anyway. I already have a plan. I'm kind of sorry to not be able to stick around and see the results. Hell, it is going to be spectacular. I wonder how many days the story will make it on the front page before someone else does something even more spectacular.I guess you could say that I'm being used. But I don't know if that's true.
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